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I figured everyone could have a brighter day with these answers.<br><br>
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<dd>TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS FOR 2005...according to Reader's
Digest:<br><br>
<dd>Smart Ass Answer #5:<br><br>
<dd>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. I
instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat...she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."<br><br>
<br><br>
<dd>Smart Ass Answer #4:<br><br>
<dd>A lady was shopping for a turkey at the grocery store, but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied,"
No ma'am they're dead<br><br>
<br><br>
<dd>Smart Ass Answer #3:<br><br>
<dd>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.<br><br>
<br><br>
<dd>Smart Ass Answer #2:<br><br>
<dd>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right Ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up
for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car
and walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."<br><br>
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<dd>AND NOW...FOR THE BEST ONE...#1 SMART ASS<br><br>
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<dd>ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.<br><br>
<dd>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final
exam.<br><br>
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<dd>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"<br><br>
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<dd>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete
and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher
smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
hand!"<br>
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<x-sigsep><p></x-sigsep>
</dl>Tom Barstow<br>
Visit our sites @:<br><br>
Moyock Weather Service<br>
<a href="http://www.moyockweather.com" eudora="autourl">
www.moyockweather.com<br><br>
</a>Wunderground Weather Moyock<br>
<a href="http://www.wunderground.com/US/NC/Moyock.html" eudora="autourl">
http://www.wunderground.com/US/NC/Moyock.html<br><br>
</a>Mom and Pop's General Store<br>
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www.momandpopgifts.com<br><br>
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